You’ve probably heard about it before, and if you’ve become curious, these tips will get you started as a beginner with BDSM.
Getting started with BDSM
The success of BDSM begins with proper preparation. What you want to do and how you do it is important. Above all, start slowly and discover what BDSM has to offer you. Openness and honesty play an important role here, so that, among other things, you know what each other’s preferences are.
For beginners, we recommend starting with soft BDSM. Here you can see with each other to what extent you like it and take small steps further each time. In the beginning it will be very strange to start with BDSM. It immediately seems scary or radical, while this does not have to be so.
Safety
To keep BDSM fun and safe, safety is paramount. Keep in mind the four Vs of trust, voluntariness, safety and reason. Think carefully about everything you do to see if there are risks and try to eliminate them as much as possible.
Always do activities with the consent of the other person. Choose a stop word, indicating you want to stop immediately and no longer like the game. This will keep it pleasant for both of you and allow you to enjoy it in a safe way.
First time BDSM
When you start BDSM for the first time, it is not wise to start immediately with extreme toys or games. Agree together on a role division of dom or sub (master and slave) and if necessary you can alternate.
By starting slowly you will get to know BDSM in a playful way and you can go a step further each time. To help you with this we have a number of starting options.
Bondage: For example, you can start with bondage. This is all about restricting movement and dominating the other person.
Spanking: Another option is spanking. Hitting the buttocks, for example. This can be done with a whip, but also just with your hand.
Blindfold: Restrict the view with a blindfold or eye mask. Let yourself be surprised and surrender completely to the other person. Your other senses will become extra sharp.
Assignments: Devise exciting assignments and show who’s boss. Hand out punishment for disobedience.
BDSM toys
In a BDSM game there are different toys to use depending of course on what your needs are.
In bondage, a bondage set is useful for the beginning BDSM-er. An ideal kit that allows you to explore your limits. Especially if you are looking for something new or exciting it is good to start with this.
This gives you the opportunity to tie yourself or your partner with it. A bondage set usually contains bondage material such as handcuffs or rope and sometimes with blindfolds or whips.
As a beginner, with such a BDSM set you can often always find something that suits you in the bondage field. This way you will also find out if bondage is really for you and it is also easy to use.
Trust is extremely important, as the one who is tied up is completely at the other’s mercy. This way, as a beginner, you get an introduction to the world of BDSM!
Discovering your kinky side
Secretly, a lot more people are kinky than actually come across. And with the movie series Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM has been tantalized to a large audience.
At first, it can be scary and intimidating and many often don’t dare. Just discovering your kinky side can be extra exciting and create extra excitement for you and your partner.
If you’re used to “regular” sex, it’s a big change to experiment with BDSM.
By gradually adding BDSM elements during sex, you will make one step at a time and you will be able to notice soon enough if this appeals to you. Likewise, you’ll notice soon enough if BDSM is for you.
Before you actually start, it is a good idea to delve deeper in order to determine what you want in the area of BDSM.
There are different grades and forms and the best way to find out is to find out for yourself. There is countless information on the Internet. This way you can find out what seems kinky to you and make a start to discover your kinky side.
How do you start?
If you start with a BDSM session it is nice to have everything prepared first.
In the preparation you will decide together what you will do and how the division will be. You also clearly agree with each other what the boundaries are. Communication is the basis here.
If you have done the preparation, then simply try it out! If you are role-playing don’t start acting, as that won’t make anyone horny.
To ensure that both parties (you and your partner) enjoy BDSM, it is important to constantly keep each other in mind so that you can’t go too far. Especially if you have the dominant role.
Are you ready to start BDSM as a beginner? Discover a new world opening up as a beginner BDSM person and maybe being kinky is for you too. Still looking for a partner for kinky sex? Then check out our BDSM dating section.